


The Darkest Depths

by NeuralBlock



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Episode: s08e11 Dark Water, F/M, Not A Dream State, Volcano Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 23:51:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10955331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeuralBlock/pseuds/NeuralBlock
Summary: Danny Pink is dead. Clara and The Doctor stand on the edge of a volcano - the keys to the TARDIS being lost to the lava below. The Doctor thinks he is in control of the situation, that the dream state will end shortly and he can help her.However, things spiral out of control quickly when The Doctor's assumptions turn out to be false. Can he save them both from being stranded in the volcano and can he save Clara from her own grief?





	The Darkest Depths

The key plunged into the lava. Solid silver melted into liquid orange, their last chance of being able to leave in the TARDIS disappearing as the magma swallowed the key. It could only have been a couple of seconds but to The Doctor, it felt like hours. He had predicted where this was going, he knew that Clara would go to the ends of the earth to try to bring her boyfriend back. However, a small part of him had hoped that she would stop, that reason would overcome the mess of chemicals inside of her - that she cared for him as much as he cared for her. As each key was thrown into the lava, his hearts ached with loss. Not the loss of the keys no, but the loss of his friend. Clara was shattering before his eyes and he knew it. He couldn't run fast enough to piece her back together.

Clara sank to her knees, tears welling up in her eyes as her anger faded. She had never been angry at The Doctor, she was never truly angry at him. When Danny had died, a piece of Clara had died as well. As Danny's body shattered, her very soul burned in agony. Everything she did was a constant reminder of what she had lost. Even her best friend couldn't reach her. She stood on the edge of a chasm, with The Doctor standing on the opposite side. There was no way across the chasm, only an endless abyss that he would plunge into if he tried to save her from the crumbling rocks underneath her feet. What had she done? She had betrayed her best friend, the one man in the universe who would destroy worlds to save her, who had jumped into his own timestream to save her.

"Oh, I'd say I'm sorry but I'd do it again. I'd do it again."

Sobs wracked her chest as the pain ripped through her. All she wanted to do in that moment was follow the keys into the lava herself. The world without Danny wasn't worth living in. How could she live without him by her side? How could she live with herself knowing that she had turned on her best friend so quickly, so desperate to cling to whatever scrap of hope she could find? The waves of grief and regret ripped through her like a tidal storm - destroying every wall she had built up to protect herself from the devastating truth. Danny Pink was dead and in one stupid, selfish move she had probably just lost her best friend at the time in her life when she needed him the most. If she looked up, she'd surely see him staring at her - disappointment and anger in his eyes. Her voice quivered as she spoke, the strength and anger that had fueled her beforehand completely gone. 

"I'd do it again. Well, what are you doing? Why are you just standing there? Do you understand what I have just done?"

Instead of being angry or disappointed, The Doctor merely watched her crumble with empathy in his hearts. He'd loved and lost so many times in his long life, yet the agony that came with loss never lessened. The pain was always as fresh and as intense as it had always been. His hearts ached for Clara. He had to stop this.

"Look in your hand."

His voice broke the silence but Clara didn't want him to speak. She was afraid of what would come afterwards. 

"There's nothing in my hand."

He smiled that sad smile that she knew hid so much pain. It hurt all the more that she was the reason that he was in pain. His tone was softer than it normally was, the gruff Scottish accent being mellowed to try to calm her down. More tears flowed as she saw just how much The Doctor cared for her. There was no anger. Why was there no anger?

"Clara, look in your hand."

Another sob ripped through Clara as he continued to insist on her looking in her hand. Didn't he understand what had happened? Did he truly understand what she had just done?

"There's nothing in my hand."

The Doctor kept his patience, part of him wanting her to wake up and realise what was going on whilst the other part ached to comfort her. He wanted nothing more in that moment that to pull her into his chest and hold her there, let her cry for as long as she needed - to be the support that he so often had gone without. 

"Yes, yes, yes, there is. Look!"

Wiping her tears, she looked down into the open palms of her hands. There was nothing there. Only her pale skin, streaked with dust from the volcano. She looked at him in confusion, seeing dozens of emotions flicker through those big sad eyes that she loved so much. His hands moved slowly as if he was afraid of what he would find. They reached back onto his neck and pulled off the sleep patch, staring at it with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Clara. Which drawer did you get this out of?"

Her stomach twisted as he spoke, the uncertainty and genuine fear in his voice unmissable. The Doctor, her Doctor was scared. She had done this. They would never step foot in the TARDIS again. The thought of her beloved grey-haired best friend not being able to travel the universe, to save all those lives and to be the good man that she believed he was - it was more terrifying than anything in that moment. 

"The bottom one, upstairs, near the bookshelf."

The Doctor swallowed, running his hands through his long hair as his mind whirled. The sleep patches he used for inducing dream states were kept on the other side of the console, closer to his blackboard so he could use them when he needed to think over a problem. He didn't have any actual sleep patches, did he? He did receive a lot of random junk from the various planets and communities that he had saved in the past. His thought process trailed off as he watched Clara curl into a ball, rocking back and forth like those incessant rocking horses that young humans seemed to be so fond of.

"I'm so sorry Doctor. I'm so sorry. I've ruined everything. I betrayed you, I've lost Danny. I went too far. I snapped. It's completely fair if you hate me now."

Self-loathing and grief emanated through Clara's entire being, the emptiness inside her mind seeping through her body as she rocked back and forth. Everything that made her who she was, everything that she loved and everyone that she loved was gone now. They were either dead or wished she was dead. The Doctor stared helplessly as she broke down in front of his eyes, the agony racing through her echoing in his hearts. She didn't realise how special, brave and amazing she was. Through thick and thin, she had stuck with him, come back to him. He felt incomplete without her and in that moment, he was about to lose her forever.

"I don't hate you, Clara. I could never hate you. I love you, more than anything in this universe. I understand that your heart aches and your mind burns, wanting Danny back by your side more than anything. I know you hate yourself right now because I've been there. Every second of every day for decades at a time, that has been me. Do you remember when I first changed, I asked you if I was a good man? I asked you that because I don't know if I am, maybe I will never know. All I know is that I care for you more than the universe can comprehend and I will do anything to ease this pain inside you. Even if it means we sit on this volcano for the rest of time."

Clara stared up at The Doctor with new eyes. Her love for Danny still burned as hot as fire but the cool magma infused passion that she felt for The Doctor, since she first met him in his silly bowtie and tweed jacket, burned hotter - consuming her entire being. His love for her had been so obvious all this time, she had just not seen it. She thought she was flirting with a mountain range the entire time. Although her heart called out for Danny, her soul was calling for The Doctor. It was just a matter of whether he would answer. She spoke in a whisper, her voice barely audible over her cries and the churning of the lava below them.

"I love you too Doctor. My Doctor."

He crossed to her side, his long legs striding across the rocks as if they didn't exist. All he could see was Clara, his Clara, in pain. She loved him, he loved her. They both ached with pain, neither of them able to face their demons on their own. He wrapped his arms around her still rocking form, pulling her into his chest and stroking her hair - whispering sweet nothings in her ear as she cried for her lost love. Maybe they could face their demons together. Maybe the darkest depths that they were both drowning in, would be pierced by the light of their love.

The only issue with that plan was the fact they were still stranded on a volcano without a TARDIS key but he'd get to that later. His first priority was Clara and that was how it would always be from that moment onwards.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! It's my first attempt at writing Doctor Who fan fiction and Twelve/Clara so I hope you all enjoy. Please let me know what you thought :)


End file.
